It's difficult to say. A lot of times it's just a general overall feeling of worthlessness and I'm just a burden to others. I feel like they would eventually be better off without me in the long run. While other times I'm just tired of fighting this and want it to be over.

I have looked into the ebt and it sounds a lot like positive reinforcement which doesn't work for me. It's like saying over and over it's not hot outside, even though it's the middle of summer and you live in the deep south. Doesn't matter how often you say it that doesn't make it true.