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Originally Posted by Humpty Dumpty
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Now I know I need help but I just don't know what to do. I am so tired of fighting. I have been fighting with suicidal thoughts for 23 years now & with depression for as long as I can remember. I am 35 now and I am just so tired of fighting. On one hand I don't want to kill myself because I know how much that will upset my wife. Yet on the other hand I just don't know how much longer I can hold on.
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Hi Humpty Dumpty,
The first thing I would do is re-think everything about your problem from the beginning and especially check if you have some underlying purely medical or nutritional problem. If you have hypothyroidism or B vitamin or Omega 3 deficiency, you're not going to know it and your going to feel terrible. MDs don't always check for these things. Here are some notes that might help:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html
I was also depressed for a long, long, long time but I did eventually find my way out of it completely. After you are depressed for a long time, it starts to seem like it's an intrinsic part of you because, seemingly no matter what you do, you always return to depression. It makes you think that it's in you and built in. I think that this is actually an illusion caused just because getting into the depressive mode is an unconscious transition, so it feels as if it is something that is out of your control. You might want to look at these notes and see if it makes sense in your case:
http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf
- vital