I understand how you are feeling as i have had those exact same feelings as well. Lots of feeling that i am not worthy encoded long ago, and because I am not working and brining in money, I feel like I'm a burden as well. Or, at least before, I had nothing but negative dialogue going on in my head - but I don't feel that way now! As for EBT and your skepticism, I felt that way before as well. That is the depressed, stressed out brain talking in black and white.

EBT isn't positive reinforcement. I'll give an example. I was completely stressed out because I live where it is in fact bloody hot all the time in the summer, and if I let myself dwell on it I can in fact get myself worked up into a panic state. We are here because of my husband's job, one he got after being laid off, and it was the only offering at the time. I can find myself hating it here so much, and I can get so depressed about it because I feel we are trapped with no options of getting out. So, during a coaching session, I did a cycle about how I hate the weather here and can't stand living here and how I feel trapped with no escape. I was coached through the cycle to reach a conclusion that was acceptable to my brain. That conclusion was NOT 'it isn't actually that hot here" because my brain would have rebelled and said YOU ARE LYING TO ME! A reasonable expectation that we arrived at for myself was to repeat to myself that "I expect myself to process my feelings and take one day at a time." We take those new expectations and grind them in, repeating them over and over, several times a day. That may not seem like much, but low and behold I found myself calmed down and able to move on from those thoughts. Our situation here hasn't changed, but what has changed is my ability to cope. That is actually quite huge. This wire may get triggered again and I may find myself having another tantrum in the future, but what has changed is that I have a new set of skills to help me deal with my feelings, something I never had before.

The method is about teaching us the emotional skills that we should have received in childhood from our parents but didn't, largely because our parents didn't have them to give. Those skills make the difference between people who seem to just cruise through life "happy" and those of us who don't. Part of it is genetics - some of us, like myself, have a genetic propensity towards depression and because I wasn't given the skills it is that much easier for me to cave compared to someone who was given skills - my threshold is much lower than someone who is genetically gifted AND got the skills. But, thanks to neuroplasticity, it is possible for us to acquire the skills.

At first, the brain rebells. The brain likes the status quo, even when the status quo doesn't work! In the beginning we will find ourselves saying, this doesn't work, I can't do this! That is true for me. I still have days like that. I have perfectionist tendencies and so I will have times where I feel discouraged because I'm not "doing it right," but there is no doing it right, there's just doing it! Those are days where the brain is trying to restore the defaults! But you just keep chipping away.

Yours and my brains are full of circuits that we default to, with these feelings being a result. Right now your wires are telling you that none of this will work, but they are just wires that can be broken - yet it won't happen all at once - it takes gradual rewiring over time. We are full of expectations that our brains believe are truth but in reality are unreasonable, and the method is about examining those wires, identifying the unreasonable expectation and then identifying a new reasonable expectation that your brain can accept. It is work, I will admit. I strongly encourage you to get the book I mentioned; there is no obligation and you'll only be out the .99 and shipping from Amazon if you feel after doing some reading that it is all utter garbage LOL! It IS possible to rewire your brain away from the hell you are experiencing, but you have to be willing to try, yes? Here's a fun video about neuroplasticity, if only for some entertainment value and a smile :-)

Neuroplasticity demonstrated. This is very cool. ? Beyond Meds

Anyway, I only reach out to you this way because i understand the despair and pain, I truly do. I hope at least I have given you food for thought, thoughts that take you away from the ugly ones