Just like clockwork - it sucks when it's happening. I like Christina's comparison to sundowning - that's what it feels like. And it's especially frustrating because in the morning I can talk myself into thinking it'll be better today. Then, on the days when it's not, it feels like a betrayal or something, and I feel dumb for thinking it would change and hopeless that it won't. Last night, though, I forced myself into bed (even though I wasn't particularly tired) before I typically enter the late night vortex that is marked with the vicious emotions and thoughts and then efforts to avoid them - that keeps me up for HOURS, and never helps with feeling up to getting up with the kids in the morning. I'm going to try it again tonight - if that keeps working, I may just give up my quiet nights after the kids go to bed and just make a habit of getting in bed myself around the same time instead.

I like the jar idea, too - I have good things I could put in there from goofy kid jokes to song titles that I love. If I can get myself to actually open it when I need it, then that would be something!

Hoping your night goes better tonight, and tomorrow, and, and, and...