Dear missatomicbomb,

Every word you said in your post is what I am, have been and don't know how to get the "walls down". I have built a fortress around me. I appear to be self-sufficient to others that meet me, sometimes they envy me because I am still attractive. Little do they know that I have absolutely NO idea how to interact with anyone. I can go out on 10 dates and on each one I can't connect, I smile - but it's a smile of "nervousness". I can't wait to go home, take my makeup off and curl up in my bed. It takes so much energy to let anyone near me, I am always on my guard. My T explained to me that comes from not being taken care of or loved as a child. Well, I still have a problem interacting with others, would that be at work or socially. It's sad, but I have awareness and pray that I can have some form of a relief and make friends.

Best to you, ad thank you for your post.