In 2005 my career went into a tailspin and I lost a series of jobs. (Previously, I had been the bigger earner for many years.) Well, my boyfriend with whom I was living began belittling me. I was on a new job - very nervous - and he was saying "Oh, you'll blow this job, just like you blew the last one." I never dreamed he had it in him to be that mean. Seems I was more of a meal ticket to him than I realized. For a while I was too broke to leave, and I needed him to help care for our dog, who was ill.

After the poor dog died and I had enough money from a job that worked out, I got my own apartment. We still see each other, but there is a distance that will always be there. He has serious health problems now and I get to feeling bad that he lives alone. I have to remind myself why that is.

The truth is that I had been putting up with a lot of crap even before I started losing jobs. But I was able to put up with it while I felt strong. It's when we are weak and vulnerable that we see what a relationship is really made of. You, too, seem to have put up with a lot. You were able to, when you were staying on top of most things. Job insecurity is one of the worst things that can happen to a person accustomed to a good weekly paycheck.

I don't think your husband is trying to be free of his relationship with you. He just wants it back the way it was instantly. I heard a saying: "If someone doesn't value you when you are at your worst, then they don't deserve you when you are at your best."

I hope you continue recovering and feel strong again soon.