Therapy for you sounds like a step towards sorting through all of this. You asked did you trust the wrong person, yet again, in your life. Could it be also, he didn't display his authentic self to begin with? Hard to say, it's not usually a simple answer. His verbal tirades certainly aren't conducive to your feeling better. my sons' father once went on some tirade about my not being able to hold down a job. I was fresh out of college when i met him and then married with babies, how logical could his tirade possibly be? It's like kicking you when you're down. Why not? Obviously (sarcasm) we're why life isn't what they hoped it would be.