HSB, welcome to the threads......a Nirvana fan, I see? I can play a little Kurt Cobain on my guitar but when he starts to bend it is when I can't keep up!

Head over to the "New Member" thread when you have a chance and introduce yourself to the community. Some of the wiser elders will welcome you aboard with some tips.

I can relate to your feelings about social pressures and "fitting in". I'm recently diagnosed BP (sounds like you're about 50 like me) and was always the life of the party, setting the pace for all to follow. But I didn't want to live like that anymore. My BP was making it worse (or vice versa) so I just withdrew from it all with *no* regrets. Been there, done that, nothing left to prove. My old friends can carry the torch for me now. That's their life, I have my own. I developed my own new habits that help me become a better person.

It was hard moving on but I am in the process of changing how I live and feel great about it. You can find ways off the monotony.....you just have to look. Like you, I'm an athlete (I played hockey) and recently got serious about the gym again. Look for things that you enjoy but also find true peace in the simple things in life like opening the sunroof and cruising down the highway, listening to Iggy Pop at volume 11.

Keep working at finding whatever combination (habits, medical) that works for you. It may not be quick or easy and I've been told by many people that something like this is never truly "cured" so stick with it.

OK, rock on!