I agree with you, the girl coming back into her life is connected with her talk of divorce. Also with her questioning her sexuality. It sounds like she is being open with you about her feelings and trusts you. I know it's hard, and you're doing the right thing holding off on contacting her. If you haven't heard from her in a month, reaching out with a simple thinking of you card will prompt a response, one that'll likely clue you in to where her head is at.

9 years with someone is a long time. I'd have trouble focusing too because I'd have so many different thoughts and emotions going on.