It's okay to feel everything. Sometimes situations are very complex like that.

You instinctively loved this person, a family member, your grandmother. You wanted to continue to lover her, to trust her, that is how it's supposed to be with grandparents, after all, so of course that is what you probably wanted at first.

But she betrayed and exploited that trust, and was very selfish and wrong in her words and behaviors, and has shown no remorse. It makes sense to feel very angry over that.

Emotions don't have to be right or wrong, they just are.

Where you have to think about correct/incorrect is in the facts and in your plans. If you know your grandmother is capable of abuse, then you know you need to protect yourself.