Aloha Lonely,

I see that no one has responded to your post. Perhaps you should post it under general "depression" thread to get more responses.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with life in general. I know what it's like to see your life disintegrate in short order and not being able to find solutions. Yeah, the job sounds like crap but I encourage you to see that at least the job distracts your mind while you're there and does give you some financial relief. I know it's difficult to see the big picture when you feel so rotten but keep trying.

It sounds like meds don't work well for you (at least the drugs you have tried) I have been on 30+ drugs over many years, some worked for awhile. If you haven't exhausted the medication route, I hope you keep trying.

I also want to at least bring up the possibility of TMS or ECT which are proven methods for treatment resistant depression (not very pleasant, but effective). I guess I just want to point out that there may be some options for you. I didn't respond to any of these options so I am going to try Ketamine next week.

Although you believe no one cares for you (or about you) please realize that it IS the depression that causes us to feel that way. You may have to think hard, but you WILL find evidence that somebody/anybody cares, and if not... I sincerely care how you feel.