Thank you for sharing Imah. I won't tell you it's not real. I have never had anyone send me thoughts. I've had people read my thoughts. But lately, I hear voices that seem to most often come from electromagnetic frequencies. I hear a freaking transistor radio coming out of my daughter's sound machine. I have a woman that speaks to me from my computer. The one time I reacted to her, she responded to me with an innocent "what?" Gives me the freaking chills. I hear a grand symphonic orchestra playing from the radio that I check numerous times to ensure has been turned off. And, I hear people giggling at me. It is very, very difficult not to accept these things as reality. I am not manic, I am depressed rather. I understand to some degree what you are going through.

Also, lately, I have felt uncontrollably compelled to lay my hands on folks to pray for them. Now I recognize that this is a delusion. Before I had an awareness, however, I did lay my hands on folks and pray for them. I believed if I did this, they would be healed and, if I didn't do this, I would be responsible for whatever passes on them. I still believe this but part of me (and only part of me) knows it is false. This is happening at the same time I am questioning the existence of God (only because of this episode, mind you). Self awareness CAN sometimes prevent you from "looking" so crazy but it does a hell of a little for confusion and self doubt. Reality testing just doesn't always work and, for me, the PRN is too sedating. I can only take it if my husband is home. I'm supposed to start splitting it in half though so we shall see.

These delusions are unfortunately and terribly common in Bipolar Disorder, they cause such disorder in our lives. I think Bipolar Disorder in general can be baffling to the public and even to us. Thank you for shining light on your delusions and how you can still be in touch while experiencing them. It helps to see it in real life. Thank you also for sharing a snapshot of your story. Yours is a beautiful, colorful story!