Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
"I'm so sorry that you experienced that with someone who uses NPD defenses. I genuinely am. I know how dehumanizing it can be. I feel an enduring heartfelt guilt for anyone I've ever criticized or hurt, and profound empathy for victims of abuse." quote CBDMediator
You have no idea how comforting these words are right now. I just got hit bad by NPD defenses from my older sister tonight (she has a big part in my PTSD). I tried so hard to go and visit my mother in a rehabilitation hospital, hoping to see her without my sister being there. All day long I fought through the pain in my arms, my chest and even my face. I got there and thought it was safe, wrong, my sister was in her car and as soon as she saw me got out and was mean to me. I should have fought back, but I just couldn't, I was already in way too much pain, so I left. The pain isn't just psychological anymore, it is physical and so exhausting now.
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I completely understand. Sometimes our problems make us feel like we're marooned on an island just outside of the universe. Despite how convinced we may be that we're alone, this is never true. Most of my adoptive, extending, and biological families are no stranger to some history of dysfunction.
Without context, I feel a bit disadvantaged to say more on this, but am I to understand your sister is using NPD defenses to keep you from seeing your mother? If you don't feel comfortable putting light on that, I'll totally understand, but can I ask why she would do that?
I hope you're feeling better. I'll leave you with a quote that I''m now getting a lot of utility out of, “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”― Jon Kabat-Zinn