Anxiety getting so much worse again. At first I should have known this would be a bad day because I smoked 3 cigarettes this morning. Out of the blue I just told myself to go ahead and smoke. Then I hoped I could recover from that but the neighbors turned their noise on and the thudding all day has worn me down and now I'm anxious and depressed. I just wish I could escape my life. Oh my God it feels like a prison sentence I will never get out of. But my life is getting shorter and shorter and I don't even care anymore. I have to live my life with ear plugs in. I don't want anymore of this. There's nothing to look forward to.