I have been reading the book on Mindfulness and Self Compassion and I can't seem to make much sense out of it.

I have been so exhausted all day for no good reason. I woke up with a headache. I got an irritating phone call from a hefer at the unemployment office yesterday that at first got me upset, then made me angry the more I thought about it. If you are going to deny me unemployment okay, just tell me. Don't drill into me my failures on my last jobs making me feel worse than I already do. Like, I know I am a failure, you don't have to rub it in. I suppose that is just her job. She does not know me and I really don't know her and it is probably not personal. I am sure she is paid to be a bully.

I seem to be thinking of every abusive episode I have endured for the last two years. My self-confidence is gone.

Everything that is supposed to help does not help. Medicine does not help. The therapist did not help.

Meanwhile, I am waiting to start a job that I am not sure how much money it will pay. Sooner or later our money supply will start to run low. We can't live on my husband's salary alone. I also would like to go back to school to learn a trade that would be profitable and fulfilling. I feel like I am in limbo and can't figure out what to do.

Sorry for the long rant. I just needed to talk to somebody.