I can empathise with you bittersweetsugar, I often feel a total sense of self hatred for being "useless" "worthless" "good-for-nothing" and often think there is not one single good thing about me. Somehow, when I get on stage (I´m a performer) it all goes away but when I come of stage and people from the audience compliment me my inner voice laughs at them for being so stupid in thinking I´m pretty (go thank my parents, they made me look the way I do not me), If they think I´m a good singer for example my inner voice thinks they must be deaf or if they compliment my dancing I just write them off as not knowing what they are talking about. It doesn´t matter what they say, they are just crazy people or liars or both.

I´m forcing myself know to "respect their opinion". It doens´t mean I have to agree, I just have to accept that that is their way of viewing the world and just like we all like different music and songs they have different tastes than me ie they think I´m great, I think I´m crap.

By actually hearing the compliment but not ruminating on it my inner voice cannot make me want to lie in the corner and cry softly to myself for hours at a time and it seems to be helping. I heard an inner voice pay me a compliment out of the blue a few days back. Bizarre and a first but an amazing experience.

I don´t even know if that made sense but wanted to share and let you know you aren´t alone x