I'm sorry to hear this Relationship challenges and break-ups are never easy.

I agree with iwonderaboutstuff. It sounds like she still has a lot of confusion about her identity and her own feelings around attraction and relationships. Unfortunately that is also something that she needs to work out before she could commit to a relationship fully. You are right that having contact with her ex- may have triggered her thoughts but it is also obviously something that she still needs to work through. While I can't imagine how hard it must be, her having these conversations with you also shows how much she must trust and respect you .

It sounds from your post that you have been incredibly supportive and done everything that you can do to support her through this. I think your idea of giving her some space and reaching out later is a good idea. It gives some time for both of you to really evaluate what you are wanting and then look at how to move forward from here.