I work as a counselor for a juvenile & domestic court, and have had a lot of training an therapy. I knew my fiance had some sort of psychiatric problem and went on-line to find out what it was. OCPD fit his behaviors to a tee. He was raised by an educated RN mom who was nuturing, but had a jerk of a dad who was verbally and physically abusive. Many years ago (over 10) my fiance did slap his ex-wife around some (no real injuries) and did jail time for it and was required to attend therapy. We have been through some real stressful situations, and he did once punch a door. He is always very repentant after he rages and assures me that he would never hurt me physically. He learned in anger management how to cope with his anger. I do think he is still capable of hurting me when he gets angry; BUT when he is in that state I know how to not provoke him and how to get him to calm down. His ex wife still calls him for advice, so he couldn't have been that bad to her. I know he is not ideal for a mate, but he is caring, considerate, and very attentive to me the majority of the time. He has been made fun by others enough to know that his "neat freak" obsessions are not normal BUT he still persists in making sure the bed is made perfectly, the towels are hung perfectly, all clothes are folded his way, and on and on. I'm not sure whether it is best to just let him have his way or stand up for my rights. I kind of pick and choose my battles with him. I guess what kills me is that it is the unexpected dumb little things that sometimes set him off-like moving the shower caddy to a different spot.
What also irritates me is that it takes him 1000 times longer to do ANYTHING than needed, because he has to organize it a certain way and then do it a certain perfect way. But usually his way (like to paint a room, or hook up a TV, or cook something, etc. ) is just unnecessarily slow and tedious. This keeps him from holding any normal job.
He however thinks his way is not only right, but the best way. He thinks the people who fire him are unfair jerks. He wants me to compliment him on the dumb way he does things. I know he can't handle the truth about his behavior. Any suggestions on how you cope with OCPD would be appreciated. Do any meds help? If so, what are the side effects?