It is so hard to care in those places. I know. It is one of the things that stuns me every time. How I can be so sure that I will never do something and then that old mood rolls around again and again it just wipes all intentions and clear thinking away. I don't know if you will agree but this sounds like BP talking. Just try not to engage with it to much. Put on your headphones or something to stop thinking and listening in your head. I hope it eases up soon.