I lost my grandmother in September of last year and I haven't moved on. I've stayed in most of the year and have cut off most of my friends and family. I used to put effort into people I don't try anymore. I feel anger to my other family members because I feel that they have moved on too fast and her birthday past on the 4th of July and everyone was just happy and trying to enjoy the fourth and I felt so sad. i feel anger towards everyone because I am kind of jealous how they are still living their life and I can barely remember to eat some days. I don't know what to do I'm only 20 and I don't want my life to pass me by but every time I do try to reconnect and get out into the world I find myself feeling like an alien. Its like i'm there but I'm not. I don't want to turn into one of those people who never leave their home. I have no family really left and I'm scared I'm going down a path of loneliness... All of this is my fault though....