Hang in there, time will bring you better perspective, promise. I've had pleeenty of days/nights (weeks, months..) of feeling that way. And being stuck in the moment of wishing I could just change my body, like to the point of serious self-loathing and extremist behaviors. I believe it stemmed deeply from childhood trauma/abuse issues. But eventually my perspective changed, and that was what needed to change, not my physical form. It will come for you someday, too, I swear it. One day you will look around and notice that very few everyday people are miraculously stunning, just average, some homely, sure, but even in that average-homely way, tons of people with extra weight, all different looks in face, hair, etc. And most of them are enjoying life, the little things.. food, pets, sharing some laughs, watching Netflix at night in their sweatpants, to each their own. We're all just humans, chillin and floatin through life together, enjoying the little things. And that includes you, another human, just trying to float through life, enjoy some stuff, be a good person, the basics, like most others. It's gonna be chill.