I am few months shy of my 18th birthday. Brought up in Asian culture English being my third language some pardon grammer.
don't know how to start my thoughts r racing in my head in don't know in wat state I am. I haven't slept for past 21 hours n sleep way too far away from my eyes.
So as to begin... I took bipolar ADHD n ocd tests n I have a high number in each of them. But its just not tests that bothers me u see wen I am holding something hot I see this image that the hotpot got dropped out of my hand on some one n I can see the consequence that they got burned or I dropped it on my feet. In order to avoid such mishaps with respect to such images I hold the object even more tightly.
As i am typing half my head is throbbing. I have mood swings n if i have the urge to do some new activity like learning a language or cooking or some sorta art I just for it cuz it drives me crazy n then I lose interest. If I plan to do something than I certainly with do it if iam interested.
I talk to myself alot . not just like I have to do this n do that today rather make up stories a story at a time in which play a part. I work on that story talking to myself as me in that world n also as others. I add bits to that story every day sometimes I get fed up with them so I develop a new one or get one of my mode swings of hyperactivity so I get around ppl n socialize forget about story making but not for more than a week max. One example of such story is that I am off to some vacations with my family there is some guys with guns on the plane but no body gets harmed much cuz me n some peeps act really heroicly n now the journalists are bothering me.
One of my daily probs ......as if I don't daily struggle with the above mentioned... So as I was saying wen go to bath I lock door then take my clothes of then again I lock the door if use toilet before a bath I check the again half way through it then I go bath again in the middle of it I check the lock . wen say to myself just checked so I get the response that maybe u forgot to lock but u think u did. Wat if someone barges in?
Also I am pretty indecisive person. Sometimes I think am I doing this to seek attention or am I just creating a hype. I really need help. This is the first I will letting quite a lot of myself go cuz I see ppl will make fun of me if they will kno true me. I don't wanna tell my mom even though she is my best friend so u kno how it is. Anyways may our creator bless us all n guide us towards enlightenment. Peace