I don't know why, but I am becoming so depressed today. I am being flooded with bad memories. I feel like a huge failure. I feel unloved, unworthy. I want to be taken out of this world. I don't know why I feel this way. I need to find something to take my mind out of all of this. I feel like a big failure that does not need to live. Maybe I will have a couple of drinks and hang out by the pool. I know I am not supposed to drink and that it is a bad idea, etc. But I need a release, an out. No one else really cares except my friends on pc.