I see everyone saying your at the right place yet no one has offered you support. I have had bp 1 for 8 years with 4 hospital admissions. Listen mate **** happens for a reason, bipolar really means your becoming spiritually awoken, it's a gift when you learn to live with it. You are becoming self realized so don't sweat it, just know you are special and manic episodes are all about dying in the ego. Eventually if you leave a manic episode unchallenged you will achieve Christ consciousness and this is what the second coming really means. You are becoming an enlightened being. All the best.