While I never want to be manic again. I wouldn't want to give back one second of the euphoric mania I have felt. For me remembering it brings a certain awareness to the everyday experiences I have. I have seen and felt and touched beauty. I have been at one, at peace. I have understood....

I bring that to my normal everyday life and it is a very beautiful positive thing for me.

However years ago when a nice hypomania turned into a mixed mania and then tossed me out into numb depression and I got my dx I was bereft. I had a very hard time realizing that real life was not in fact very euphoric. The bad meds I was on at the time did not help that at all and made it worse. But now years later and after some other experiences I do not experience that feeling at all.