Hello Lonely,
I'm sorry you feel so bad. I could tell you all the stuff about ' if you felt better than this before, you can feel better again' which is of course true, 'try to find something positive in each day, even if it is only that the sun shone, or you saw a flower' (which can also sometimes help us feel better), you probably have heard all that and it makes no sense right now . All I can offer is that I care about how you are right now and sincerely hope that you can find a way forward soon.
Remember you're a human being and as such are worth as much as any one else. That's my opinion and I hold tight to it.
Be kind to yourself if you can.