I think I'm in that place where it is just bad enough to make me feel incapable of anything but not bad enough to believe that it is actually happening, that it is legit. I guess I feel like that even when it is really bad though.

I just don't have a life where I can take time to do things for me and my mood that may help. I don't have time for myself at all really.

It is good because it keeps me busy and out of my head and focused on other things but sometimes I wonder if it makes it worse sometimes that I never get a moment to just rest myself. To rest at all really. I just have to keep it all going. Keep the smile. Keep the nice voice. (I'm a mom people). It really drains the energy I have for fighting the mood by not getting a chance to rest. And I don't need help coming up with ways to find time for myself. Believe me if they existed I would do them.

There are just days too where you realize that you really shouldn't be around other people because you are grumpy or whatever all negative and crushed down and it is hard when you have no choice but to be with very important people all the time. I remember in the old days I could just stay in my room or come home from work and just be me in my mood. Taking care of me. That's just not my life now. It's very exhausting even when you're not Bipolar. Okay I think I am all done rambling this out now. Back to the grindstone!