I struggle with suicide on a daily basis. On a good day it's at about a 5. I woke up today really wanting to just kill myself. No particular reason I just did. This made my depression even worse which in turn makes my suicidal ideation even worse. Which makes my depression worse. It is just an endless cycle.

How do you deal with this crap when it is almost overwhelming? I can't check myself into a nut house because my wife needs my help too much right now. Her mom is in the hospital right now because she had a heart attack the other day. I just don't know what to do. It's reasons like this that suicide seems like a welcome relief.