The most important thing for you to know here is that HIS cheating isn't about YOU or any qualities you have or don't have. Infidelity is a complex subject, but essentially your husband chose not to invest his energy with you and found someone NEW. It's all about novelty for him. She is not you, and that's all it takes, sometimes. When I researched infidelity for my book LOVING IN FLOW (and also when my own spouse had an affair ten years into our marriage), I discovered that it wasn't my fault. He got to feeling hopeless that things would get "good" again and when he met a new person, he figured he'd give it a try. That's a vast oversimplication, of course, and I tell the whole story in my book. But what you need to do now is open a genuine conversation with him and find out if he wants to save your marriage. Both of you have to really want it, and then the real work begins. Good luck!

Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.BunnyApe.com/lovinginflow.htm>http://www.BunnyApe.com/lovinginflow.htm</A>
Author of <font color=red> LOVING IN FLOW: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way </font color=red>