I'm taken aback by so many replies in such a short space of time.. There really are so many of us abandoned kids out there - I always knew it, but now I feel it. And I'm in tears that you all had to go through such ordeals It's so unfair!

CopperStar, it's awful that your mother left you with such a father - it must have left you feeling so unsafe and betrayed.. And for your father to relate to your brother, his own son, like that! He sounds like a very sick individual..

I feel I can relate somewhat to how you've felt. I think I was also, as a child, able to deal with what my father was like on some level - I, too, gave up on him. It was more important to keep my mum close as she was the one who fed me and put clothes on my back. But she didn't take me away from my mad father, and for that I've struggled to forgive her..

I've been so angry at them both! I think I scared my friends when I told them how angry I was.. My therapist is the only person I've met who just listened and didn't freak out when I told her I was so angry I felt I could kill my parents - it's not like I ever would, it's just how angry I was and it needed saying!

I used to feel that with all the emotions I'd held in, I was like a kettle about to boil over or explode at any minute.. It's so important that we get to share how we feel! If you want, maybe you can share your anger and grief here.. Give a voice to the child you once were and say all the things you wanted to say back then but couldn't..

(((((Rosebud))))) My heart really goes out to you for losing your mother at such a young age, and your dad being unable to be there for you.. I had tears in my eyes as I read about how you feel when you see children with their parents

Maybe it would be good if you were able to let those tears flow that you've been holding back.. You deserve the chance to grieve.

I so hope that if I ever have children, I'll be a good mum to them.. I've already found myself imagining situations I might face with my own kids and how to best handle them.. I know I want to deal with my own issues before I become a mother. I want to really be there for my kids, to be present emotionally as well as physically.

Curry, thank you for sharing a piece of your story here.. I'm somewhat familiar with alcoholism as my mum's father was an alcoholic who got physically violent when drunk.. I've read quite a lot about alcoholism and realise what a devastating impact it has on people's lives. My mum and her siblings seem so broken as a result of what they had to endure as children..

It must have been so confusing for you when you moved to another country.. I'm sending a big hug to your 15-year-old self