Sorry if this is long, but here's a bit of the history...ever since I was little my mother has been physically and emotionally abusive. She's a prescription drug addict and has been taking pills for as long as I can remember. I always lived in fear of her, never knowing what kind of mood she'd be in when she came home. She'd beat the crap out of us (me and my sister) for the smallest things. She says the most horribly mean things to people, never thinking or caring how it might hurt them. I've tried talking to her about her behaviour SO many times and she always refuses to admit any wrongdoing, or turns it around to make it my fault. Now that we are all adults and have kids, she is always criticizing our parenting, our kids, us, you name it, she can find something wrong with it!
My sister and my sister-in-law have both had words with her about the things she says and she'll be nice for awhile to them, but talk about them behind their backs. I've recently decided to just stay away from her as much as possible. Yesterday she came into town for the weekend and is staying at my sisters house. I don't want her at my house. I'd feel 'fake', because I actually LOATHE her and I don't want her anywhere near me. Last night, my 6 year old daughter and I went to my sisters house to visit and have dinner. My daughter was going to spend the night. As I was getting ready to leave, I had my daughter come downstairs and get changed for bed and she started crying, saying she wanted to play,etc. My mom told me 'If that's the way she's going to act, I don't want to be around her, you can just take her home with you."
I said "She's a kid mom, God forbid she CRY about something, she's not perfect, but fine, don't worry, I don't want you to have to 'be around' her"
Then of course, she turned it around to ME being ignorant and I became the one who caused the uproar...I told my daughter to get her jeans on and that we were going home, which made her cry more, and my mom yells from downstairs "If that's how you're going to act, I don't want to be around you", then as my daughter says "you dont even like me!", my mom starts saying how 'she' didnt say she couldnt spend the night,etc. It was just a ridiculous fiasco.
Needless to say, I brought my daughter home with me, I don't want her around my mother either. Just because a kid is crying, you dont tell them you dont want to be around them! And the whole time, my daughter kept saying "I wont be able to tell Nana happy birthday tomorrow" (today is my moms b-day)
Now how pitiful is that?? Here is my mother being so awful to her and all my daughter is worried about is not being able to tell this mean woman happy birthday?
The worst part is that my mom doesnt see ANY of it!
It just made me so mad to see her hurting my daughter and since she still treats ME like crap, I'm not letting her treat my daughter that way too.
I've never had therapy to deal with what I'VE been through with her, I'm on disability because of anxiety attacks and chronic depression and now I've been diagnosed with Adult ADD. I KNOW my emotional/mental problems as an adult are directly linked to my mother and how she treats me. She's continually told me what a screw-up I am, I can't make any decisions for myself and God forbid you do something else than what SHE thinks you should do, because HER way is the ONLY way and you never hear the end of it.
I hate this woman. I feel guilty with God for feeling this way, but Lord help me, I've tried SO many times to make my peace with her! It would be different if things would CHANGE, but when it's the same things over and over, HOW am I supposed to just 'forgive and forget'??