It's ok to ask women out from meeting them at the gym or restaurants - you just have to pay attention to not end up bothering her, as she isn't there with the purpose of meeting others.

Honestly - online dating seems like the best bet for you. The superficial appearance bit will be done easily - women who aren't interested in how you look will not respond to you, and alternately, you don't need to reply to anyone whom you don't find attractive. You can also easily see who is interested in what. It's pretty much always stated on the site what someone is looking for. So your idea that women only want long-term relationships is false.

You really, honestly, need to broaden your outlook. You keep painting all women one way, despite plenty of women telling you that you are wrong.

Regardless of anything.... you will never, ever, have a date if you don't start asking people out that you're interested in. Just take a risk and ask someone out. Sure, they may say no; sure, they may even be offended that you approached them in a situation where they weren't wanting any attention. But, not everyone is the same. It's sort of how life works - it's complicated, annoying, and there are pretty much zero tried-and-true ways to get the results that you want. It's all about taking risks.