Hello,
Sounds like your experiencing hopelessness. I don't know if my post will help you and you may have just felt the need to vent as many of us do. You can know that my experience is different to yours but i realized that we here that suffer chronically might share at least one thing at certain times. And that's hopelessness. I had 2 very bad days in a row recently that had me convinced i could not take anymore. I survived and then i read another article in a psych journal and something occurred to me. Depression is complex and since we don't know you and what you have done we can't just present a solution. But hopelessness leads me to give up. How can I get any better if I give up? There is nothing easy about any of this but if I want to live then I have to keep trying to get out.

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