Hi,
I feel your pain and wish you could believe there is hope. Despite you chose a degree you did not like because of your parents you learned some stuff. You have a degree and that could help you more or less. It would be worse if you had zero degree. You have a place to live. I know you do not like your room mate. Ok, maybe you can start changing that, I do not know. I do not think you can change all together ( I mean, a better career, a better job, better housing). Perhaps a gradual plan could be better. To me, in addition to a good plan we need to be emotionally stable. Sometimes, we need help to achieve some changes in our life, like counseling or psyquiatry . I do not know your case, but it was important to me at certain point.
I wanted to tell you one more thing: please do not feel too much overwhelmed by your decisions in the past. You were still very young. You depended on your parents and society mandates. The process of becoming an individual with a unique identity, preferences, etcetera is a long one. We need to detach ourselves from what surrounds us in order to become individuals. We build ourselves as subjects little by little. In the meantime our behavior reflects many different things, we do not always act guided by our own ideas or desires. Many young people struggle until they find their vocation. Additionally, this is not the best time to get and keep a good job. Many people are working in areas they dislike. Many people are struggling out of there. You are not a freak or a loser . I do not want to be impolite but in your country people suffer unnecessarily because of the style of life your society sustains. People do not want to show their misery but believe me there are a lot of people unsatisfied and unhappy everywhere. We need a general change in addition to individual changes.Anyway, regarding your status, I believe you will be better. You need time and perhaps some support.if you are committed to your wellbeing sooner or later you will find the way.
I wish you the best
__________________
ClaraHope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel
|