does anyone else feel sometimes like there's really not anything wrong you - that you just don't cope well and want to blame all your failures on being depressed??

let me describe myself...

I'm a 32 year old college graduate. I bought my own home when i was 25. Currently I work for a non-profit organization where I am responsible for planning events and marketing. I have loving parents who have been happily married nearly 40 years...etc, etc.

oh wait...did i leave out....

i don't like being around people. i don't get attached to people. i've never been in a relationship. i've been diagnosed with depression among other things. i was briefly hospitalized twice in my teens. i self injure and when i'm not doing that i compulsively overeat.

but....

i've worked full-time at my current job for nearly four years

wait....

i'm about to get fired because of personality conflicts resulting in ick (my boss says i'm passive aggressive?)

but....

i did work full-time for nearly four years at an extremely stressful job....have i been blissfully happy during that time? no....but who in this world is blissfully happy with life

why does it go back and forth?

am i an average person who gets overwhelmed and/or lazy and likes to feel sorry for myself

or

do i have a "mental illness"

or both

does anyone else ever feel like this? can anyone relate?