Its good that you keep trying to explain it to them. My boyfriend just shuts down and runs away from me. You are right he is very scared if he gets close he will get hurt, that is all he is worried about, that I will hurt him. And he looks for me to do that. And I'm human, and sometimes I will make mistakes and I will accidently hurt him. It doesn't mean I want to, it doesn't mean I don't love him. I do love him, I want to be with him every single day, but he won't let me.
You say the funny thing is you still get hurt, you are right. But you say at least you hurt you and not the other person. Don't count on it. If the other person loves you and they know you are hurting, then they are hurting also. They want to see you happy too. I doubt that my friend will seek help. He is a tough guy that comes from a family that doesn't have problems? Every family has problems. He doesn't want to out anyone. If he ever faces this issue then all of the praying I do on my knees every night have finally been answered. Thanks for your reply and keep communicating it really helps us trying to love you!