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sister said:
So, Sunny, are you saying you can only get angry of the event was intentionally directed at you? Could you get angry if there was a thunderstorm and lightening hit your house? Could you get angry if you slipped on the ice and broke your ankle? Hmmm

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That's correct. I would only get angry if someone intentionally tried to hurt me or screw me over or did something that was unfair to me, etc. I might also get angry if someone, through general insensitivity, hurt me, even if they didn't deliberately do it. I would not get angry at a thunderstorm or breaking my ankle as there is no external target for the anger. I might be kind of peeved at myself for being clumsy if I broke my ankle. Would you get angry at a thunderstorm or the ice?

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Why aren't you be angry at your husband?

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I am not angry at my husband for his affairs. I do have some anger at the root causes of his affairs, though, and how he has, in general, treated me the whole time we have been married. I know I will never put up with this stuff in a relationship again (if indeed, I ever have one--not something I want to jump into now, that's for sure). Once I am done with the divorce, I hope to return, in therapy, to some of my unresolved issues and do some depth work with T. I feel like T and I got a good start and did enough productive work to free me up to proceed with ending the marriage, but now the depth work has been put on hold as I navigate the break-up and all of its attendant challenges. My kids come first.

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it really was like blah blah blah constancy blah blah blah important to allow yourself to feel yada yada yada

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Hey, my T sometimes gives this same speech!