I'm sorry your dealing with all this.

Of course you both being Bipolar is going to cause many difficulties at times. Is there a reason he's not addressing his BP ?

Is Marriage counseling an option? If it is or isn't I would certainly think you would benefit having a T. You can build yourself up and learn better ways to communicate with him, I am not saying you need to make all the changes , it does take 2 to fight. But your very unhappy with how you hold things in then explode...

It's quite possible if he sees you making changes he would be willing to look at himself .

I think everyone needs to learn how to fight fair. My husband and I went through a real rough time fighting, crying and lots of resentment on both sides. So we decided to just be kind to each other, sounds silly but we stopped arguing, we would email each other.. because in an email you can backspace in real life a mouth can't and all kinds of ugly can be slung around and some words can't be taken back. We stopped interupting each other when we needed to discuss things, He talked I listened, I talked he listened. You cant hear the other person if your busy defending yourself.

My husband and I had a bit of a tiff the other day over frozen bread for goodness sake! I hate frozen bread and he hates to waste anything.. So compromising was needed on both are parts.. I realized I can handle that stuff if I make toast ...but for sandwiches I want fresh bread ... 4 years ago we would start arguing about bread and then both of us would start unloading all the stuff that were repressing and before you knew we were yelling about stuff that happen 10 years ago..

So I think its important to put old constant arguments to rest and stop pulling them out in to the future, its so easy to fall into that stuff and you will never get anywhere.

I hope you both are able to set aside the anger and work on the fracture that is happening to your relationship.