Wow, I certainly understand fearing how a med might cause you to react, but it's something you just have to keep trying until you have tried "everything." IMO. I have medicinal reactions, some quite severe, others are adverse reactions that I can put up with for a while.

I used to go into hospital to try a new med, the reactions were so swift and severe. And IMO that is a good use of a psych ward: to help get you stablized on medication. (They can dose you, keep your intake consistent, and help you with any ill feelings about it or from it, and keep you safe in the meantime.)

Have you spoken to your doctor again asking what options you really have on this? I think you should. TC ((hugs))