Christina, thank you so much for your advice.

I have tried to do several of the things you mentioned and i did notice him being better when i was working harder at being better.
It's almost like my down fall excuses him to do the same.

I have such a hard time letting go and things are so much better when i don't drag up the past, it's just hard not to do when I'm already in such a bad head space.

We were doing better than ever up until a couple months ago. Disagreements stayed on topic and things didn't get out of control. If i take a calm approach and direct the situation the outcome is so much better.


Its just exhausting to be the guide of a relationship when i have my own demons i fight with.

Counseling would be great for us i believe but he just won't.

I continue to work on myself. It's just been really really hard lately and my mood going down and several stressful situations have put us back in a place we were over a year ago.

I thought we would never be back here.

Its so great to hear that you and your husband have gotten through the rough times. I admire such relationships where you refuse to completely give up on one another.

Thanks again for reading and replying.