Sometimes I get thinking about weird things in the past and my paranoia about the future makes me incredibly anxious.. tonight that's happening. I'm not sure how to control it, but God knows.. I try very hard. My mind pieces together things that drive me crazy and I just can't keep my mind from getting stuck on them. I really do try.

I'm not sure if it's because I forgot and took my Risperdal late or its something else, but it's like I have to constantly stay busy.. and even then, it usually doesn't work for long. I'm constantly lost in thought. I'm at my wits end, it might bother me for a few hours or a few days.. but right now I'm at my wits end, I wish I could control it because I'm mostly too scared to talk about it because it's crazy. I wish I had more distractions or stronger meds sometimes.. even thought the Risperdal seems pretty strong.