*POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING*

I really don't feel depressed, but I have no motivation whatsoever, and very little energy. Could I be depressed after all? I've been very depressed for years, but I've felt quite happy in the past few months.

Everything I do that isn't recreation feels like a painfully boring chore. I do productive stuff about 30 minutes of my day or less, and it's awful. I loathe it. On top of this I want to kill myself most of the time, but I am not miserable at all. I do however get bursts of depression that last for a day or so, where I sink so low that I feel it is my duty to kill myself - that I am defying fate by staying alive and that it is a sin.

I am bipolar and medicated, 20 mg Abilify + 200 mg Lamictal + 20 mg Buspirone, and I have some schizophrenic symptoms and a schizotypal diagnosis (ICD, not DSM, so not a personality disorder). I am really confused about this and feel that I need to figure it out. Could it be that I am just lazy and self-pitying? I don't think I am (I used to be a full-time student with top grades), but I don't understand why I am not able to force myself to do more of the things that I don't enjoy. Any ideas or similar experiences? Does this sound like dysthymia?