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When he says, "You can trust me," I know that I really CAN.

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I think that is wonderful. My absolute trust in my T is one thing I value too.

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Are we too close? Is this transference to the nth degree?

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I think it is unusual to know your T outside of therapy, but if it has worked and is working for you, then it seems like it is fine. I am very close to my T and I consider myself to be strongly attached to him. I'm not sure I've ever been this strongly attached to anyone. I do not think strong attachment and transference are quite the same thing but often go hand in hand. Maybe you are just strongly attached. I am not sure I have experienced classic transference, where you transfer feelings/emotions related to your mom or dad onto your T. However, I do interact with T using behavior patterns I have developed over many years of interacting with other people, particularly including past lovers/mates, and probably affected at least a little by childhood influences. I am trying to grow out of dysfunctional behavior patterns by practicing healthy interactions with T. It is so great to be healthy with someone!

ETA: Gracey, I am a little envious of the handholding, but not sure it would work for me, as I am so attached to my T, I might overreact. But it still has appeal for me... Sometimes I just feel so close to my T that I would like some physical contact.