Quote:
Originally Posted by Breezy~Day
When I say people don't like me, I mean the very large majority of people. Those who like me also eventually turn their backs on me, too. I can say for the most part that I no longer deal with depression, and I'm not getting too upset over this. However, it's affecting my life, and I just want answers.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, and I still feel no closer to the truth than years ago. People often just flat out get angry at me, are happy to take their anger out on me, don't like and even act disgusted when I try to befriend them, and casually ignore me. I know what you may be thinking: oh, I must be a really terrible person to be treated this way. However, I don't think that's the case here. People often tell me how sweet and polite I am. I smile often and more often than not make the first move to talk to someone. It still makes little difference.
I've been telling myself it's all in my head for a very long time, but I think it's time for me to stop and face reality. I feel like there's some unspoken code that everyone except me knows.
Some hints might be that I'm called, "weird," I'm not materialistic, I don't gossip or judge people on petty things, people say I'm intelligent and mature, I'm admittedly more paranoid than the average person when it comes to certain things, and I'm shy.
Thank you for your time reading this.
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I hope this helps. Do you say things like "I'm not materialistic, I don't gossip or judge people on petty things" to others in conversation? If you do, that might be coming across as judgmental and accusatory; especially if you say them right after someone else says, "Oh, Judy looks like she's gained a little weight" or "I just bought a new car, and I love it!" I understand why you wrote it here, but if you say what your wrote here in conversation it takes on a different tone.
Also, let me share these with you and you see if any of it resonates.
I was friendly with a rather shy-appearing woman. Before too long, though, she flooded me with her
very strongly held opinions and her interests and wasn't the least bit interested in mine. When something upsetting happened to one of my coworkers, she responded with making jokes.
Another person I know stands far too close and also has extremely strong viewpoints that I don't share, yet she is not interested in my views. I don't want someone I barely know standing inches away from my face.
Someone else I know assumes all conversations are directed
at her and she interjects herself angrily and shrilly into the discussion until the rest of us all drift away.
The best way for you to find out what is really going on in your situation is to ask someone you trust to tell you how she or he sees it and why and/or to go to a therapist who can help you on interpersonal relations.
If you want to start more slowly, you might try checking out books on communication, getting along with others, and how to make friends from your local library.