It has been suggested that we all have a good look at ourselves without lying about what we really see and feel. Well, I am not very pleased what I see in the mirror. I am not a very good person and thus it is hard for me to be content with myself. I can try to forgive myself and I suppose I must be this is what it is...my mental condition perhaps causes my detachment from people. I am selfish and not a very warm person when it comes down to helping others. Whenever I'm facing a dilemma of other people's problems or miseries I sometime just shrug and neutralize it by saying "we all have our own miseries, what I can I do?" Knowing that sometimes helping others is a way to salvation. But I can never get myself to do anything!
I suppose, I can say that "it is not easy to be me" and my selfishness is a way of coping with myself. I have a hedonistic attitude, chasing pleasures from moment to moment, (sex, or food, or some other venue of escapism). Is there any hope for me to change? I doubt it. I am 58 and I am set in my ways. I must accept myself as I am and try to be content as much as it is possible.