Hi niceguy,

It sounds like you're going through a real conflict of emotions, right now

Now this is a long shot..........but does it really have to be a choice between living with/accepting the relationship as it is or ending it??? Could there be some room to put some guidelines/boundaries in place in the relationship with her..........maybe sit down with her and spell out some of your expectations in making the relationship work so as you can both be happy in something more than a "short lived" relationship, while taking into consideration some of her feedback???
Like I said, a long shot if this is the person who has hurt you previously.

But if that doesn't/isn't going to work..........well the bigger picture..........why shouldn't you deserve happiness in your life??!! If this relationship is ultimately/overall going to add hurt to hurt to...........
And maybe you don't want to hurt them, but you're absolutely right with "a sense of duty and loyalty, that apparently appears to be helping no one". If that's the case you are helping both of you/being the "bigger/stronger person" in moving on. You do have a right to want more........and you might "longer term" be helping her by moving on too, freeing her to find someone in the same sense that you need to find someone right for you.
I know it might/will probably be really painful.............but I think you already know what you need, just so hard to take that step, yes??
But you have tried with the relationship, you've definitely tried, but you/anyone can only give so much of themselves. Time to think about your future now, yes??



Alison