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pinksoil said:
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! sorry. i'm actually a bit manic tonight.

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I'm feeling a bit manic myself or is it on top of the world?

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pinksoil said:
this is wonderful! i remember all the anxiety you had about your relationship a couple of months ago regarding the connection and all that... and now you have found it.

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I know I was in so much pain not long ago. I really thought I wasn't cut out for this process and not deserving of his validation. I had major anxiety...major.

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pinksoil said:
isn't that great when our t's back up about something that no one else does? i feel like that with my family, too. i don't get a whole lot of support in regards to my dysfunctional family. when t backs me up and validates how i feel, that's really all i need.

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Oh yes. I know he isn't implying that I'm perfect but to hear him validate for me that I am not the bad girl I was told over and over that I am by my family. I don't deserve this treatment from them. What have I done to be so not accepted my own family?

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pinksoil said:
you cried! i had the classic "eyes fill with water, but never actually spill over" moment. i swear, one of these days the tears will come out. how did it feel crying in front of him?

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I had no idea that this would happen tonight. At first, I was so upset that I didn't think about it but when the tears fell over a bit I realize what was happening. It felt normal is the best way to describe it. For the first time.

thanks Pink, for the encouragement.