Aww sidestepper...

Like wire twister said....its in the past. You are here now. Look around. We are all Bipolar...1s 2s and 4.5s and 3/4. Those numbers don't matter. And we are a good group of people.

Look at everything you have been through and SURVIVED. You are a SURVIVOR. It is amazing that all of that happened to you and here you are.

and learning this gives you more self awareness. I think self awareness is one of the most important things we have in our fight against Bipolar.

I hope you have a good cry. The world isn't over though. You just have to adjust to this new view of the past. We all do that when we get our dx. You just got a very big smack in the face. Just wait it out. Hang in there.