Yes. It has been nothing more than a rant session for 30 minutes. Then off I go. Anyone else I can't talk or open up the same way. I feel trapped and I am trapped. I get reckless and want to harm myself badly if I get desperate enough. I don't have anything to get the help I need hospitals are like prisons, but without the cuffs. There's armed guards and doctors, cameras and not relief but added anxiety and loss of hope of freedom. If I hear one more time that a hospital is going to help, I can't explain how deluded that really is. Ik it requires self help, but what if your helping yourself does nothing. It feels that survival has no real goal except extend suffering.