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Jul 14, 2015, 08:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sad_Chelsea
I didn't want to have to be this way that I'm asking my psychiatrist for help with my physical health problems but I'm at a loss and don't know what else to do. I can't go to my neurologist anymore because of an altercation that occurred..he agreed to send me for an MRI after I insisted on it and then I came to find out he didn't follow through. At my second and last appointment ever, he was verbally abusive towards me. He told me I'm stupid and I don't know anything and my problems are imaginary because I'm a woman and women are not right in the head.
Chelsea, I'm really sorry that your at your wits end. It is so frustrating when you are crying out for help and it seems that no one is listening. And that the people that do listen don't care. But everyone does not feel like that. Please don't give up on yourself just because an imperfect system with imperfect people have let you down. There are some of those in the medical profession that got there by - well who knows. Unfortunately all you need is knowledge to be a medical health worker, there are no requirements to be a compassion or empathetic person. Their opinion of you is just that, their opinion, and it counts for didly squat. Just because they have one, doesn't mean it's right.Don't base your self worth on someone who doesn't know you.
My family doctor sent me for a brain CT scan, he didn't explain to me what's wrong just said my pituitary gland looks different from how a normal one looks. I don't know what that even means and I'm not going to continue asking questions when I never get answers anyway. I refuse to wait months for an MRI as waiting means that I have to suffer and get worse in the meantime. I'm planning to end my life by driving my car into oncoming traffic, people have told me this is a bad idea but I have no other options.
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There's a saying that I try really hard to keep in mind, well two actually. One is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That sounds great, when your in a place that you can think of tomorrow. But don't give up, there will be a tomorrow, and with the passing of each day comes new hope. The thing is whilst you are breathing, there is a chance that things will get better. The same cannot be said once you stop breathing. The fact that you are fighting to get better, feel angry at those that have let you down - these should tell you that there is a person inside of you that wants to get better, and that you are worth fighting for. Listen to that voice.
The second is Suicide doesn't end the pain, it merely passes it on to someone who loves you. You may think there is no one in your life that cares, and it may seem like that. But I guarantee that there is. There will be lives that you have touched, people that have thanked you for being you, people that smile at you when you walk down the street and smile at them. Don't give up on these ones that care. Even if you have got to a point where you don't care what happens, there are those that do. And you don't want to hurt them, even if you want to hurt yourself. This may sound like a guilt trip, but knowing that others care and depend on your existence, it can give you reason to keep fighting when all else seems lost.
Don't give up. Don't let the system win. Fight.
And please keep posting. I for one would like to know that you are ok. 
xXx
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